Forgiveness of a Child

I have a lot to learn about forgiveness and God seems to want to teach this to me through my six month old baby girl. 

So she was going through a bit of a growth spurt just a little while ago which meant that I got to wake up every 2 1/2 to 3 hours during the night for about a week to feed her. She would wake up starving - so her cries told me, eat, then go back to sleep. While this was alright with me for the first couple of days but after about day 5 my patience was seriously waning.  At one of these 5 am feedings I was feeling particularly frustrated and just looked at her and said, "Seriously Kathryn, it is time for sleep" in a more frustrated tone than I would have liked. As soon as I heard myself I apologized to her (hey, it is never to early to humble yourself to your little baby I figure -- I messed up) telling her I was sorry and that I loved her. 

Well, she must have understood me more than I thought - or I was still delirious from lack of sleep because she grabbed at my face, gave me a big slobbery kiss and laid her head on my shoulder. 

Wow, talk about instant forgiveness. I know that sometimes I will tell people "it's okay" when they say sorry yet I don't feel that in my heart, but not this little girl. She forgave her Mommy for messing up and didn't hold it against me at all. That night she really taught me about how God will forgive me to when I am able to humble myself to Him. I know that I will still mess up but I also know that I am still doing well and on this journey. 

Night-Night

So Kathryn is not a sleeper - not at all. In fact she only usually takes 2 half hour naps a day but she is pretty good during the night - mostly just waking up once to quickly eat then back to bed, but sometimes it can be draining as I would like a nap longer than 30 minutes! When she does take longer naps I have to go and check on her to make sure she is okay. Like today, she took 3 45-60 minute naps and I had to call Jake to tell him because I could barely believe it.

When I am feeling tired and as if I will never get to sleep, especially after this stupid daylight savings, I need to remind myself how incredibly bless I am. I have a very happy and healthy little girl with tons of energy - hey, she just wants to dance all day...no worries! The times that it does get to me is when I am trying to put her to bed especially now that she is on different time than the rest of Canada. Sometimes she will just talk herself to sleep (I think she is chatting with all of the animals on her bumper pad but that may just be me thinking that) but often she will need to be swaddled (I know - still!) and cuddled till she is almost asleep then into the crib she goes. 

Even though I may be exhausted by what the day has been, I love those moments. Her tightly swaddled in my arms, her tinny head resting on my arm, her brown hair tickling my nose as I give her chubby cheeks lots of "night-night" kisses. She then will often giggle then close her eyes as if to say, "Yay, you figured it out Mommy!" That makes the whole day worthwhile. 

Not a musical bone

Okay it is official, I am back being the most unmusical person in our family, and this is including Kathryn. She takes after Daddy with her music. Every time we go to church, Kat is just singing along and dancing. I love it that she is already worshipping in her very own 5 month old way! As soon as the band goes up to sing, she starts going, chatting away and kicking her toes. The worship leader will often pray or read a verse in between songs and Kat still can't tell the difference when they are singing and when they are praying so we are working on not disturbing the whole congregation during this time. 

Any time Jake practises Kathryn just watches his hands so intently and tries to play the guitar - she loves the vibrations on her little fingers. Surprisingly she still loves my off-key made up songs about pretty much everything that we see, although I don't know how long she will think I have a beautiful voice. I should be able to squeeze another month or two out if her...